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The world’s smartest man just jumped out of the plane wearing my backpack!”The following items are compliments of J & B.After the brief Falkland Islands war, a British regiment commander was addressing some troops under his command who had heroically performed above and beyond the call of duty. He informed them that Her Majesty’s Army had committed to reward each of the three soldiers 100 pounds per inch of distance between two different parts of the man’s body.The commander addressed the first soldier, “Where would you like to be measured, Sergeant?”“From the tip of me head to the soles of me feet, Sir!”, he replied.“Very good!”, the commander said, and the sergeant was measured at 6’5”. He was paid the handsome sum of 7000 pounds.The second soldier was asked, “What about you, Corporal?”“Between the tips of the fingers of me outstretched arms, Sir!”, the corporal said.“Very good!”, replied the commander. The corporal, a man of considerable wingspan, was rewarded 8000 quid.Finally,. As Kelsey sat on the bench to his left trying his best to be as invisible as possible, five pairs of entranced eyes commenced scanning his body. Much he had always imagined steamy prison scenes in his fantasies prior to that, the two vagrants negated any dreams of the incarceration imaginations he may have had. The odour of powerful male scent was no problem for him, but the enhancement of body stink that he presumed emanated from the two ‘vagrants,’ simply didn’t arouse his sexual predilections.Sitting and watching the guys in the cell with him, he became rather nervous as their gazes became more and more salacious. Soon, the five men began to swap horny stares among themselves, frequently returning their gawking in his Kelsey’s direction, and Kelsey felt like a deer surrounded by a pack of hungry wolves. His fears were next heightened, when one after the next, the ‘wolves’ commenced groping their crotches in a very lascivious manner.‘Oh, Jesus,’ he thought, ‘this pack is going to.
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